Entries Tagged as 'control'

Daisy’s Requests

In attempting to keep tighter control on two very different girls I find myself learning a number of lessons on the fly. While my Lolidoll is a sub who does her best to adhere to the rules and knows her Daddy is proud when she does, Daisy on the other hand can seem to be a bit of a brat. Now, I don’t mean that in the sense that she is intentionally defiant, but more so that she is newer to the concept of domestic discipline. Our relationship started as very vanilla and only recently has it began to include things like rules, spankings and balancing her individual spirit with the needs of the relationship. This has unfortunately led to some frustrating situations, false starts to be literal. Recently I requested that she put her frustrations into words, asking for either clarification of her understanding of the rules or a clear explanation of what she feels is missing. She gave me a short list of suggestions, what follows are my answers

1. Please uphold the rules.

It’s easy, especially when sharing a home, to let things get very vanilla very quickly with all of the everyday responsibilities we have, therefore it’s up to me as her Daddy to create and enforce the laws. I think it’s easy at times to view her ‘defiance’ as an inconvenience and not what it really is, a call for me to put my foot and paddle down. It is also common for many men to grow silent, sliding deeper into ineffectiveness by operating under the assumption is not worth the battle what she really wants is for me to push back.

2. Can we make a list of house rules so I know what I’m responsible for.

I created a list of rules many months ago to apply to both my girls, I’m learning that while a static list of commandments is fine, both deserve and require personal refinement or the addition of rules as needed. My current list of rules does not cover responsibilities within a shared household, and thus we have a gap in communication. This is remedied via a delegation of domestic duties, and the creation of new rules.

3. Assist me in completion of my personal goals through the use of real consequences for rule violations, don’t be afraid to be the bad guy.

I must have more confidence in her ability to understand and her real desire to follow the hierarchy under which we live. At times I find myself thinking she’s not committed so therefore I don’t act accordingly, that is my own shortcoming in not reading her attitudes as the testing of boundaries.

4. Keep me in the loop

This is part open communication and part awareness of body language.

In closing I find that when I receive requests like this I try to examine things from as many angles as possible, every Daddy has something to learn from his submissive. We are given a gift of control, respect, excitement and so much more, and it’s an ongoing challenge to mold the relationship and their minds.

What is a Daddy Dom? Pt. 2

Last post we explored the basics of what a Daddy Dom is, this time we will delve a bit deeper into the why and how. There are few related lifestyle dynamics which may or may not be a part of any individual or couples situation.

Age Play
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Most people new to kink in general make the assumption that role play based on perceived or actual age differences is part and parcel to being a Daddy Dominant. While yes there are those who delve into that side of kink, it is not the primary focus in La Familia Cambion. Don’t get me wrong Daddy likes a tennis skirt as much as the next guy but thats where it ends.

Psychological trauma
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Above all as a Daddy I see that my girls remain safe, and of course sane this means addressing issues from their past or present affecting their mental state. I am not a doctor, so this means giving them a shoulder to cry on and advice but beyond that I always recommend the help of professionals.

I have found that sometimes, especially within the Daddy dynamic our “fatherly” ways and the sexual nature of the relationship can open wounds of past trauma. It is up to the individual to decide what they can and cannot handle.

Boundaries
It doesn’t matter if you both enjoy electroshock stimulation, water sports, erotic asphyxiation or simple total power exchange before anyone gets all worked up boundaries MUST be set. It’s a very good idea to either complete an online or paper document outlining what is expected and forbidden within play.

Some say a safeword has no context in a Total Power Exchange relationships but I wholly disagree. The nature of our kink states that passions flare and if you are not within control of yourself or the situation things cease to be safe. A safe word or gesture gives her plenty of room in that play rape scene she begged you for to scream “No, Noooo, Stop” without you wondering if she still comfortable within play.

Self Control
I cannot stress enough the absolute need for self control for anyone who would call them selves a dominant. We, especially as men must reach a point where you know yourself and your reactions to stress, pleasure and other factors before you can be worthy of any individuals submission.

It’s of absolute importance that you seek to discipline and understand your shortcomings, she is giving you more than her body. Her mind must trust and believe in you or all will be lost.