Daisy’s Requests

Don Cambion — Mon, 23 Jun 2008 21:26:45 +0000

In attempting to keep tighter control on two very different girls I find myself learning a number of lessons on the fly. While my Lolidoll is a sub who does her best to adhere to the rules and knows her Daddy is proud when she does, Daisy on the other hand can seem to be a bit of a brat. Now, I don’t mean that in the sense that she is intentionally defiant, but more so that she is newer to the concept of domestic discipline. Our relationship started as very vanilla and only recently has it began to include things like rules, spankings and balancing her individual spirit with the needs of the relationship. This has unfortunately led to some frustrating situations, false starts to be literal. Recently I requested that she put her frustrations into words, asking for either clarification of her understanding of the rules or a clear explanation of what she feels is missing. She gave me a short list of suggestions, what follows are my answers

1. Please uphold the rules.

It’s easy, especially when sharing a home, to let things get very vanilla very quickly with all of the everyday responsibilities we have, therefore it’s up to me as her Daddy to create and enforce the laws. I think it’s easy at times to view her ‘defiance’ as an inconvenience and not what it really is, a call for me to put my foot and paddle down. It is also common for many men to grow silent, sliding deeper into ineffectiveness by operating under the assumption is not worth the battle what she really wants is for me to push back.

2. Can we make a list of house rules so I know what I’m responsible for.

I created a list of rules many months ago to apply to both my girls, I’m learning that while a static list of commandments is fine, both deserve and require personal refinement or the addition of rules as needed. My current list of rules does not cover responsibilities within a shared household, and thus we have a gap in communication. This is remedied via a delegation of domestic duties, and the creation of new rules.

3. Assist me in completion of my personal goals through the use of real consequences for rule violations, don’t be afraid to be the bad guy.

I must have more confidence in her ability to understand and her real desire to follow the hierarchy under which we live. At times I find myself thinking she’s not committed so therefore I don’t act accordingly, that is my own shortcoming in not reading her attitudes as the testing of boundaries.

4. Keep me in the loop

This is part open communication and part awareness of body language.

In closing I find that when I receive requests like this I try to examine things from as many angles as possible, every Daddy has something to learn from his submissive. We are given a gift of control, respect, excitement and so much more, and it’s an ongoing challenge to mold the relationship and their minds.

What is a Daddy Dom part III

Don Cambion — Sun, 15 Jun 2008 20:08:16 +0000

The Daddy/girl subculture, an obvious aspect of Domination and submission, is one which at times misunderstood as some desire for infantilism or a symbolic instestial relationship. Unfortunately I can understsand the assumptions as there isn’t the wealth of information which can be found covering many other aspcets of BDSM.

I tend to agree with the caregiver or authority figure identification as I believe it best describes the structure of rules, correction and nurturing which is such an important basis of this type of relationship. For myself and my girls it isn’t a role to play as much as it is an extension of our core personality, a common thread among those who share the lifestyle.

One thing we, as Dominants, learn is that being on top means leading by example, and without this lesson many are bound for a breakdown of structure when challanged by submissive or environment. If you do not take the effort to get yourself and the affairs of your household organized then how, in good faith can you reliably take on the responsibility of another?

This lesson is a tough one for some, including myself, but many of us find motivation to become better men simply due a feeling of responsibility to someone other than yourself. Building that responsibility is what some would say puts the maturity into a Daddy.

The term, head of household is common in other aspects of D/s and Taken In Hand relationships, and it means exactly what you might think. It means taking control of the things required to run a household. Providing a structed environment for the upkeep andmaintenance of a home, financial matters and thinking for good of the unit.

Unlike scene based BDSM, authority and control is retained in all aspects of the participants lives including the vanilla parts. These long-term real life relationships sometimes give the impression of the “traditional marriage”, going so far in many cases as to emphisize the “obey” parts of their vows. For some this return to tradition amounts to a bit of fetish in itself, replete with Mrs. Cleaver dresses and penchants for baking. For others still its simply following the natural order of Male Dominant/female submissive roles .