Entries Tagged as 'howto'

Let’s Clarify

During a recent conversation with a friend I’ve noticed that it maybe too easy to separate the words Daddy and Dominant. In searching for the proper way to introduce an otherwise vanilla person to the dynamic one thing should never be misunderstood.

Try not to let the cute names fool you, this isn’t just role play.

No matter how you slice it, this is still a relationship based upon Domination and submission, usually if not always including some sort of bondage or pain play. One way to describe choice within the world of D/s & BDSM is to make a comparison to ordering a burger or a pizza, the toppings are an incredibly personal thing.

Learning as much as you can should be your first step, search the web, pick up books, or join discussion groups. If research feels like a chore you may want to investigate your passion for a particular activity. Being an uninspired Dominant, means being ineffective and possibly unsafe.

There many are ways to be a Daddy, or a submissive “little girl” for that matter, all as individual as the participants involved. For this and many other reasons I recommend completing a checklist such as the ones available here:

Submissive BDSM Play Partner Check List
Google Search: BDSM Checklist”

For many pain, in the right context, is most certainly connected with pleasure. Knowing a fair bit about anatomy and aftercare is not only important but for me falls right in with the “Safe, Sane and Consensual” mantra. This means know a bit about basic first aid, properly negotiating a scene prior to play, a safe-word or gesture and having predefined limits.

All of this means one thing, communication, without it things can quickly go from fun to scary, or even worse someone could get hurt. At least not in a way they were intending.

What is a Daddy Dom? Pt. 2

Last post we explored the basics of what a Daddy Dom is, this time we will delve a bit deeper into the why and how. There are few related lifestyle dynamics which may or may not be a part of any individual or couples situation.

Age Play
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Most people new to kink in general make the assumption that role play based on perceived or actual age differences is part and parcel to being a Daddy Dominant. While yes there are those who delve into that side of kink, it is not the primary focus in La Familia Cambion. Don’t get me wrong Daddy likes a tennis skirt as much as the next guy but thats where it ends.

Psychological trauma
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Above all as a Daddy I see that my girls remain safe, and of course sane this means addressing issues from their past or present affecting their mental state. I am not a doctor, so this means giving them a shoulder to cry on and advice but beyond that I always recommend the help of professionals.

I have found that sometimes, especially within the Daddy dynamic our “fatherly” ways and the sexual nature of the relationship can open wounds of past trauma. It is up to the individual to decide what they can and cannot handle.

Boundaries
It doesn’t matter if you both enjoy electroshock stimulation, water sports, erotic asphyxiation or simple total power exchange before anyone gets all worked up boundaries MUST be set. It’s a very good idea to either complete an online or paper document outlining what is expected and forbidden within play.

Some say a safeword has no context in a Total Power Exchange relationships but I wholly disagree. The nature of our kink states that passions flare and if you are not within control of yourself or the situation things cease to be safe. A safe word or gesture gives her plenty of room in that play rape scene she begged you for to scream “No, Noooo, Stop” without you wondering if she still comfortable within play.

Self Control
I cannot stress enough the absolute need for self control for anyone who would call them selves a dominant. We, especially as men must reach a point where you know yourself and your reactions to stress, pleasure and other factors before you can be worthy of any individuals submission.

It’s of absolute importance that you seek to discipline and understand your shortcomings, she is giving you more than her body. Her mind must trust and believe in you or all will be lost.