During a recent conversation with a friend I’ve noticed that it maybe too easy to separate the words Daddy and Dominant. In searching for the proper way to introduce an otherwise vanilla person to the dynamic one thing should never be misunderstood.

Try not to let the cute names fool you, this isn’t just role play.

No matter how you slice it, this is still a relationship based upon Domination and submission, usually if not always including some sort of bondage or pain play. One way to describe choice within the world of D/s & BDSM is to make a comparison to ordering a burger or a pizza, the toppings are an incredibly personal thing.

Learning as much as you can should be your first step, search the web, pick up books, or join discussion groups. If research feels like a chore you may want to investigate your passion for a particular activity. Being an uninspired Dominant, means being ineffective and possibly unsafe.

There many are ways to be a Daddy, or a submissive “little girl” for that matter, all as individual as the participants involved. For this and many other reasons I recommend completing a checklist such as the ones available here:

Submissive BDSM Play Partner Check List
Google Search: BDSM Checklist”

For many pain, in the right context, is most certainly connected with pleasure. Knowing a fair bit about anatomy and aftercare is not only important but for me falls right in with the “Safe, Sane and Consensual” mantra. This means know a bit about basic first aid, properly negotiating a scene prior to play, a safe-word or gesture and having predefined limits.

All of this means one thing, communication, without it things can quickly go from fun to scary, or even worse someone could get hurt. At least not in a way they were intending.

Tags: background, quick words by Don Cambion
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Last post I explained a little bit about polyamory, and my feelings about being a poly Dom. One thing about being a Daddy is that your submissive or lil girl, naturally wants to be the center of your universe. This is both pleasing, as it means you are usually the center of hers, and also comes with a fair amount of responsibility. I fully accept this, and treat both my girls as they deserve, by providing my full attention to each when its “our” time.

I would venture that as in most poly relationships of similar dynamic, one partner may or may not be able to handle hearing about any aspects of your involvement with another. This is to be expected and I respect the fact that that type of discussion can lead to feelings of insecurity or even worse competition between the two. Never ever provide a situation where it you are comparing the accomplishments or failures of one partner against the other. This sort of behavior only breeds contempt and will eventually weaken the bond due to feelings of inadequacy.

As things stand now geography prevents the possibility of all three of us being the same place, but even if it were possible I would avoid this situation unless both girls decided it was something they would want to do. In the future I would love to have the girls in their own separate households, close enough that I am able to travel between the two sharing my time accordingly.

Some may wonder what about the emotion end of things? Well I can only say this, I love both my girls very much and for their own individual qualities. I could never think to compare their night and day personalites and quirks, I just know they are both deeply special to me.

Tags: lifestyle, polyamory by Don Cambion
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